From You Disconnected

(Tuesday 24th April, 2012, mid afternoon)

From you disconnected I fall
When I should've been tall
Can I catch? No way!
Not now, not yesterday
And again I had much, now not all

It was sweet
But then nothing can keep me on feet
And through your face I am beat
What I had was not all
And you gave me one thing, not all

Now here I do sit
Writing paper, pen, head feels like shit
I try to think but can't do at all
Drink my coffee
Beat head against this hard brick wall

I am done
Was it pills, thoughts or sun?
Was she it or only fun?
Do I, did I care about it at all?
Tired of this
I gave me, got back not this at all

Was I right?
Did I do good? Another fight?
For what? I don't know at all
Just you didn't need me at all
Just yourself
You, home and that's about all

Now I've come
Here again, faces bare, no-one knows me at all
And nobody to need or break my fall
Just lonely like ants in Great Hall
And for what?
For me and nothing at all

And what's next?
No phones, no TV, NO SEX!
What on earth will be NEXT?
Just not you
Empty space, no-one there, nothing more